He kissed a someone with a penis
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
