Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize