I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
