i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
