I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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