The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
