youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
