Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize