Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
