I CAN MOONWALK!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
