This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
