I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
