I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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