can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Girls should come with a carfax report
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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