I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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