i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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