My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize