where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
