like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
