went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
