hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
