Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize