My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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