i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
