He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
