i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
