she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
