Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Randomize
