you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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