her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
