My Higher Power is John Stamos
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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