Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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