didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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