onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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