people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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