I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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