Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Randomize
