just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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