I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I fill condoms, not promises.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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