how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
