dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just made out with a guy for $7.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
