it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm too high and old for this...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
