Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize