Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
