ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
