well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
