I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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