I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
