He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
