Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
