We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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