Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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