Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
