You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
