what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i dont even know how to be here
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
