I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
