Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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