I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
