Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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