I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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