I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize