Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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