i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
