): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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