Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My feet surprised me
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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