i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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