Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
