just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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