also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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