I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
