I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
