why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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