hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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