Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
