to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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