So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just want to make out with him forever
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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