So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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