physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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