I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
