He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I AM VODKA MAN
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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