i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
