pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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