It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
